Exchange For 3 days Happiness

 

I am Alyana. I was raised with a very very very simple poor life which was really sucks for me.

 

"Alyana! Alyana! Look I have a new barbie doll! Wanna play here?" My friend Diana showed me her very pretty barbie doll that I wish I also have.

 

"Nope thanks. She's so pretty. Where did you bought her?" I asked with a smile because I am so excited to know where she bought the barbie doll.

 

"SM department-"

 

"Oh thanks! Bye! Gotta go!" I cut her words and run.

 

"Ma! Ma! Let's go!" I excitedly pull my mom's hand while she's busy cooking in a very dirty looking cooking pan wherein she's just using a charcoal instead of gas stove and I can't help to feel ashamed when my classmates saw us with no gas stove and laughed at our small house that he said it just looks like their comfort room. 

 

"Hey why are you pulling my hand? Where are we going?" My mama asked smiling at me. She's pretty but now her hair is so messy, and her clothes are dirty unlike my classmates' sophisticated moms.

 

"Ma come on let's go to sm department and please buy me a barbie doll just like Diana's," I was pouting my lips so that she will buy me one.

 

She just held my small hands and said, “Baby toys there are too expensive and we can't afford to buy one." I felt sad all of a sudden, my excitement suddenly gone.

 

"But ma please I like a barbie like her! Please buy me!" I am already crying.

 

"Baby stop crying. Don't worry I'll try to buy you one on your birthday. Ok?"

 

"Really? That will be next week Ma! Thank you!" I hugged her tightly. But my 7'th birthday came and I was so disappointed because she gave me one with so disgusting look and also, I don't have a birthday party just a simple noodles. I cried a lot on my birthday.

Time flies so fast and I am already in high school and I am so disappointed because my stuffs are nothing compared to my classmates’ stuffs. My notebooks and bag are always old unlike my classmates' things they're so pretty and branded.

"Mom can you gave me money I want to buy a new shoes it's too old already I've been using this for almost 3 years." I said while having dinner with my mama who's busy preparing the same food in can that we always ate. Tsk life really sucks.

 

She looked at me after she cough. "But baby-"

 

"Ok Ma I know already know what you will say once you started that 'but' of yours." I said with irritations cutting her words. In my 16 years existence that's the only words she will surely answered me "but baby.." Damn!

 

"Ok Ma. I hope this time you won't disappoint me. We will be having our js prom which will be held at Baguio City and that will be on my birthday and don't worry about the gown that I will be wearing because Diana will lend me one of her gorgeous gown because I am not expecting that you can buy me anyway I am sure you will just give me an ugly one just like the barbie when I was seven. But Ma I still need money because we will be paying the transpo and etc. And I am so excited please one last time don't disappoint me again because just so you know I am so tired and embarrassed with my classmates. Ma that's my wished on my birthday. Payment will be next week. Ok? Good Night. " I said everything I wanted to say to her and run to my so small disgusting room before she will start her 'but' again.

 

Deadline came and I run to my mom's room, but I was disappointed because she wasn't there. Is she trying to escape from me? Damn! If I will not able to pay today, I will not be joining that most awaited prom.

 

"Alyana! Alyana! Why are you crying?" I saw Auntie Maya rushing to our small house. She's my mom's friend and companion in selling banana cue. "Auntie mama's not here! And I need-"

 

"You need this." She cuts my words and suddenly I felt happy by the money she showed me.

 

"Wow Auntie! Are they mine? Did mama give these to me?" She just nodded not even smiling maybe she's not in the mood but I am. Anyway, I am so happy. "Ok Auntie bye! Gotta go to school!"

 

"Your mother!" She shouted that made me turn back.".. you won't even ask, where is she?" She continued and asked.

 

 

"Auntie she's probably harvesting sweet potatos. I am sorry I'll be late in school. Say thank you to mama!" Then I immediately left with a big smile on my pretty happy face holding the money that will make my day happy.

 

Yipee! I woke up early and my things are all ready and I am so excited this day is our prom day/fieldtrip!!! I will see beautiful places and I will be dancing with my crush because he's my escort and Diana said he will be mesmerize with the gown she lends me because I will be prettier. Mama said I looked like my father who left us, and I hate him too. Anyway, time to get ready.

 

After doing my morning stuff I excitedly wore my gown and Diana will fetch me because she will treat me to a beauty salon as a birthday gift. Anyway, where is mama? Tsk it's my birthday but she's still at my auntie's house. Maybe she's mad because of the money she gave me. Why? Because yesterday Auntie asked if I already used the money because mom needs them. What the hell! Mama really can't give me a money wholeheartedly that's why she's using Auntie as the messenger. "Hey Auntie, you're here. Again. Alone." I said emotionless. “Where is mama? No plan of going home. Why? Is it the money?" I asked sarcastically.

 

"What are you talking about?" Auntie asked. She's mad at me but I don't care.

 

"I know she's mad because of the money she gave. It's my birthday. I guess I deserved to be happy for once Auntie." I suddenly heard Diana's calling me. "Ok Auntie bye. I'll be staying there in Baguio for 3 days. My small time to enjoy my life." I was about to walk but Auntie hold my hand. Tightly.

 

"Why Auntie? Do you have something to tell me before I leave this disgusting house of us just for 3 days?"

 

"Alyana your mouth! Don't say that! This is not disgusting. This is your home. Your memories with your mom are all here." Auntie said with disappointment written all over her old face.

 

I just rolled my eyes. "Yeah Auntie. A memory that embarrassed me in my whole life."

 

"Alyana!"

 

"Just kidding. Ok bye! Gotta go!" She stopped me again and I started to get mad.

 

"Auntie what's wrong?" I asked with irritations on my voice. Really even if she's my Auntie she's getting into my nerves.

 

"Your mother.." She looks like she wants to tell something but she's hesitant.

 

"Alyanaaaa!!" Diana's calling me.

 

"Auntie bye! I really gotta go!" I run before she can stop me again. For G sake why are they always stopping my happiness! Mom loves to really disappoint me! I am really disappointed in my life.

 

Mama always saying always pray and HE will hear all your prayers no matter how silent it is but what the hell not even one of my prayers came true. Just wanna have a nice house where I can invite my classmates, a nice bag, uniform and shoes that won't embarrassed me, a cellphone that won't make me feel I'm a 'mountain person', eat in a fancy restaurant not street food and beautiful dresses. And what I am always praying when I was a child that I got already tired of hoping. My father to come back. But my father never comes back.

And now my mother left me I guess and get tired of me. Since the day she gave the money through auntie she never even bothers to face me. Wow. Just wow.  

 

"Hey you're spacing out. Are you ok?" My senses came back when Marco slightly pinch my nose. Marco is my crush. And now we're dancing here in my most awaited prom night. It's our last day. I really enjoyed every single day here in Baguio.

 

On our first day we went to different places which was my happiest birthday ever. Ok honestly mother came into my mind that special day of mine because she's always preparing the same food to celebrate my birthday which I don't like anymore since I reached six and had a classmate. Here, a lot of foods are delicious and a lot of never seen beautiful places really amazed me. Time flies so fast and it sadden me that we needed already to go home. I won't be sleeping anymore in a very soft bed with airconditioned room. Here I am standing next to a dirty place where I was born. 

 

When I go inside the house, I didn't saw my mama. Really? She got mad at me because I just wanna enjoy? Tsk ok I better leave alone and starve myself to death because no one and nothing in this place will make me happy.

 

Nights, days had passed but I didn't saw my mother and even my Auntie. Wow. No one really cares for me anymore. I am now a 16-year-old lonely girl in this disgusting place who was left alone by the only woman I thought will stay forever in my life. I am not a friendly neighbor who will even ask where the hell did my mother go? I don't like talking to the people here in squatters area. I'd rather talk to myself. Life really sucks. How can she left me alone? I also hate my own mother. But should I be thankful? I still have the same stocks of food that we always ate though I hate the food. No longer attending school. Should I start dancing in a bar? Used my beauty to earn money? Do dirty things to stay alive? I hate them! I hate my mama! I hate my life.

 

"Alyana! Hey what are you doing?" I suddenly stopped fixing my hair when I heard the voice of the woman who I hated too.

 

I smirked and looked at the woman I don't wanna see anymore. "Tsk why do you care? But if you insist, I'll tell you. I'll be going outside and smoke cigars, drink alcohol, sell my body-" I was dumbfounded by what she did to me. She slapped me. She f*cking slapped me. I can't help to cry and hate them even more.

 

"Wow. I guess that's your welcome present to me Auntie." I said sarcastically with too much pain and anger in my heart." Where is mama? Won't she come back to also give me her presents? Maybe she's happy now that I am no longer in her life stressing her out. Wow tell her. Thank you for leaving me. I've never been happy of this bullshit life she gave me. I am so embarrassed because she's my mama! She's the worst mother in the world and I hate her! I hate her!-" she slapped me. Again. And I don't know but the cut in my heart is more painful than the two slaps I had received from Auntie.

 

"Don't you dare talking to your mom like that! Because you don't know what your mom sacrificed just to give your bullshit wish on your birthday!"

 

"Listen Alyana I have a story to tell you." I laughed crazily at the back of my mind while I'm trying to stop my damn tears. Wow she's still has the urge to tell a story. In this kind of goddamn situation?!

 

"Remember when you were seven, she bought that bullshit doll from the money she supposedly used to buy medicine because of the pain in her chest because your mom is sick. You know why it became dirty? She suddenly loss her consciousness but she tried to save your doll despite her condition." I want to talk but I can't. Just like Auntie all my tears are continue flowing all over my face.

 

"All your shoes and clothes that you're wearing! Your chances to go to school! All of those things are the fruit from your mother sacrifices that no matter how painful for her to harvest and sell crafts and barbecues she never gave up because all she thinks is you Alyana but you didn't even appreciate! And your 3 days happiness that your telling me is also the fruit of your mom's stupid sacrifice for you!"

 

I got more confused. What does she mean her stupid sacrificed? It's just a fieldtrip why is she acting like that? Why is it there's too much pain in Auntie's eyes?

 

 

 

"Alyana SHE SOLD HER KIDNEY IN EXCHANGE OF YOUR BIRTHDAY WISH! And have that bullshit 3 DAYS HAPINESS you were talking about even if it will cause her to death! Are you happy now Alyana? Your mom is in critical condition just for your 3 days happiness!!"

 

"W-What?.." My knees became jelly and my whole body are trembling. My heart skips a beat and that's the most painful story I have ever heard in my whole life.

 

Alyana you're a worthless child.. You are..

 

"A-Auntie. I am really a bad child..I don't deserve forgiveness. I am very selfish. Please kill me now.. Get my kidney and give it to Mama.." I begged to Auntie. I deserved to be punished. I deserved to die!

 

I suddenly felt a warm embraced from my Auntie who's also crying with so much pain in her eyes. "Shh..don't say that Alyana..I shouldn't have told you baby. Your mom will get mad at me for making you cry.." She said crying.

 

"N-no Auntie. Stop treating me good like this..hate me Auntie. Sue me..punish me..please.."

 

"Shh..baby I'm sorry I love you so much just like how much your mother loves you..I will never hate you. Don't ever hate yourself." She cupped my face and made me looked at her. "Listen baby. I am sorry for telling harsh things to you. Please forget those things and just be strong. If you really love your mother stand up there. Smile. Let's go to your mother. And be her strength even though you are her weakness. Do you love her?"

 

I just nodded crying. I love my mother. I hate myself that bad things like this needs to happened first before I appreciate the love of my own mother.

 

Her unconditional love.

 

I never thought that my Mama can sacrificed her life just to grand my nonsense wishes!

 

Damn I am such a bad daughter! How dare me to even enjoyed that 3 days fieldtrip while my mom is suffering and fighting for her life just because of that goddamn fieldtrip! Damn!

 

My 3 days happiness in exchange of my own mother's kidney?!

 

My 3 days happiness in exchange of my own mother's life?!

 

My 3 days happiness in exchange of my forever happiness with her?!

 

 

No.. I can't lose my mother. Please no...

 

I just realized she's my greatest fear. Losing her is my greatest fear in life. Because a mother's UNCONDITIONAL LOVE is my REAL HAPINESS.

 

I run crying to my mom who's lying on the hospital bed as fast as I can. When she saw me. She smiled. She's not mad at me. She even said I love you to her selfish daughter no matter how hard for her to talk.

 

My dear mom...I cried harder as I hugged her tightly.

 

I, Alyana, promised to never give up my mom. From now on till the last end of our life I will take good care of her. I will do anything for her just like how she's doing everything for me. I love my mom. I regret every bad things I've done to her.

 

For the first time in my whole life I looked at her saying those three words I never told her which I should always say and make her feel the three words eight letters. "Mom..I love you." I really do. I won't stop loving you. I won't stop until you get better and healthier no matter what.

 

💌💌💌💌

 

Thank you guys for reading! Hope this simple story wakes up your senses, your mind and your heart on how life is too short. Yeah it is. You will never know when you will lose her. And made you appreciate all the Love of her. Because I made this simple story as my own reminder that every single day must be Mother’s Day, will always be my mom's special day because since the day she got sick I realized one thing. Life is really too short. Enjoy the best out of it with my loving and caring mother. So if I were you always make her feel the three words eight letters to her before you'll regret it. Ok?! One more thing..for me nothing can compare to my mama's UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. Let us love the very first most beautiful and wonderful woman in our life.                           👸

 

See what your mother can sacrificed just to make you smile. How about you? What are you willing to sacrifice for her? if she's willing to give even her life for you dear stubborn child.

 

Exchange for 3 days Happiness

By: Angel C.

(2016)

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